A woman's choice, not mine

An incident two weeks has me thinking about what it means, politically, to be a pro-feminist man. I say pro-feminist and not feminist for one simple reason: I'm not a woman. I can't claim ownership or identity with a movement of which I cannot, by definition, lay claim to.

I think this is the crux of a troubling incident I was a part of (in one way or another) two weeks ago. This incident involved a pro-reproductive rights protest in the Merrifield/Chester Fritz/Centennial Dr. quad. The protest was an attempt to counter the anti-choice "graveyard" on Wednesday, Oct 28 (in the interest of not giving the opposition more of a voice, I won't try to articulate their position).

A male comrade (of mine) was approached by another man, who began interrogating my comrade as to what his position was related to abortion. My comrade gently explained that (bad paraphrase) women ought to be able to make decisions about their own bodies. The insurgent began to lay out a counterargument, at which point I shamelessly interrupted, "Are you a woman?"

The insurgent glared at me and continued his point, to which I again shamelessly interrupted, "Are you a woman?" To which he replied, "No, are you?" "No," I said, "I'm not, so it's not my body, therefore I don't get a say in what happens to women's bodies. I believe everyone ought to be autonomous, so I'm in favor of autonomy where it concerns women's bodies. It's their body, it ought to be their choice."

The insurgent replied that (bad paraphrase) women have a choice, they can choose whether or not they have "safe" sex (as though everyone (both partners) who has sex which results in pregnancy had sex with the intention of initiating a pregnancy, or that birth control is 100 percent effective, etc.). I replied, "No, you have a choice, that if you get someone pregnant, you can walk away. A woman doesn't have that choice." I then informed the insurgent that I had to go to class (regrettably) and disrespectfully walked through the mock-graveyard.

A few points for consideration: this protest was not organized by me, it was organized by women. I was lending support, since that is all I can do, in good conscience. Being a pro-feminist man means that since I am in favor of women's autonomy, empowerment, and freedom, the best thing I can do is to get out of the way while women create those realities for themselves. They don't need my help to do it.

When, with their consent, I can participate in events and actions which show solidarity with their struggle to overcome oppression (because, I would echo feminism in general here, all women are oppressed). I will participate only on the condition that I understand the privilege I have as a man (economically, culturally, physically (in terms of feeling safe virtually everywhere I go, for example)) and seek to undermine that privilege by way of how I conduct myself around women and how I can be effective in showing solidarity with feminist struggle. The reason for this is simple: when I enter into solidarity actions that are concerned with feminist issues (i.e., reproductive rights) without this awareness, I ignore the privilege (privilege in the political sense, i.e., unearned advantage) I have as man.

For example, no matter what the outcome of the issue of abortion laws in this country, as a man, I will never get pregnant. So I, by definition, cannot know what it's like to be faced with a decision about whether or not to continue a pregnancy. Even if I get someone pregnant, I won't be the one making that decision (at least not with the laws the way they are now), so I can't know what that experience is like and thus, I have the privilege of not having abortion laws perhaps determine the outcome of my life.

I mean this both in terms of the life change that is involved with having a child (because choosing to continue a pregnancy is also a reproductive choice) as well as the potentially life or death choice to have an illegal, unsafe abortion (which would begin to happen more and more frequently in this country if abortion were to become illegal again, as it was before Roe v. Wade).

Abortion is a political issue and as such, it is about power. Who has the power to decide what is done with my body? If I were a woman, which I'm not, I would certainly want to be the one making the choice about whether or not I will continue a pregnancy, which makes sense, since it would be my body and I'm the one best able to determine what happens to my body. As Gloria Steinem pointed out, "If men could get pregnant, abortion would be a sacrament." I agree wholeheartedly.

Since we live in a patriarchal society, women's rights are by definition under-represented and taken less seriously than men's. Since I take my rights and the rights of others seriously, it stands to reason that I would take the rights of women seriously. If, gentle reader, you are a man and you agree with the last sentence and especially if you are against reproductive choices for women, I suggest you take a long, hard look at whether you are in favor of rights and autonomy for all, or just for yourself.