Appreciation for the single

I wanted to say thank you to the single parents out there. I have been a single mother for almost seven years, so I know it's hard. We can't make quick decisions, we can't go out with people that easily, we can't participate in certain events going on very often, and if we do, we bring our children with. Having a child for anyone, at any age, is a life-changing situation, however having a child and being a single parent can at times be even more difficult, but I think breaking past the boundaries of who are appropriate parents can be recognized: single parents can be good parents.

From our own communities, however, we don't get that support we need. There are automatic assumptions and judgments made right away towards single parents.

People don't try to understand why others like myself chose to parent (especially single and young), or why we can't just go out with them-using the persistent, "find a baby-sitter so we can hang out" comment. It can be irritating. I must state that it's nice to know there are people who want to hang out with me, yet it's still frustrating to hear comments, because I don't ever have her dad around to take her and I can't afford a sitter on a regular basis. Also, I can't assume my own father who lives in town can take her all the time.

Parents, especially those that are young and single, need support from our communities, peers, friends, families, and society. There's something missing in our own communities when we can't rely on each other for help. This involves anything from sharing what you have, helping out with the kids and being there for each other, swapping baby-sitting nights, or being a phone call away.

People are getting caught up in their own lives without even thinking of supporting others around them. Of course, it's still my own choice in doing so, but it's still nice to be in a situation where we may need support and we find it because we have people who care. We may choose to parent someday or we may not; we all have different reasons and different situations that we may be in. There are many forms of families beyond the typical nuclear family and that is ok. I, nor anyone else, should feel ashamed because we are single mothers/parents, because we are good parents.

Judgment towards parents beyond the typical "social norms" can make our situations even harder for anyone and everyone. People can continue to judge these situations and of course, not help to offer alternative situations.

We get criticized for using social welfare programs because the assumptions being made is that we are lazy and not a part of a "working society." Have these people making judgments ever been in that situation? Does anyone offer community solutions? I suggest setting up more affordable childcare. Letting others know you are there to help, or maybe just stopping the judgment completely would be a start.

Thinking of situations in a different view may help us realize how others may feel in ways we never even knew, looking past what our own "norms" of how people "should" be and understanding that everyone has their own life and that's totally fine.

So as students on this campus and in this community, remember the single mothers and other parents on campus.

We are trying hard and we deserve a compliment like "good job" at times. It's hard to be a student, working, and a mother, but it is also doable.

Again, thank you to all of the single mothers and parents out there-you are fabulous.