2008 Woodie Awards
Appreciation for the single
Heather Jackson
Issue date: 4/29/08 Section: Opinion
I wanted to say thank you to the single parents out there. I have been a single mother for almost seven years, so I know it's hard. We can't make quick decisions, we can't go out with people that easily, we can't participate in certain events going on very often, and if we do, we bring our children with. Having a child for anyone, at any age, is a life-changing situation, however having a child and being a single parent can at times be even more difficult, but I think breaking past the boundaries of who are appropriate parents can be recognized: single parents can be good parents.
From our own communities, however, we don't get that support we need. There are automatic assumptions and judgments made right away towards single parents.
People don't try to understand why others like myself chose to parent (especially single and young), or why we can't just go out with them-using the persistent, "find a baby-sitter so we can hang out" comment. It can be irritating. I must state that it's nice to know there are people who want to hang out with me, yet it's still frustrating to hear comments, because I don't ever have her dad around to take her and I can't afford a sitter on a regular basis. Also, I can't assume my own father who lives in town can take her all the time.
Parents, especially those that are young and single, need support from our communities, peers, friends, families, and society. There's something missing in our own communities when we can't rely on each other for help. This involves anything from sharing what you have, helping out with the kids and being there for each other, swapping baby-sitting nights, or being a phone call away.
People are getting caught up in their own lives without even thinking of supporting others around them. Of course, it's still my own choice in doing so, but it's still nice to be in a situation where we may need support and we find it because we have people who care. We may choose to parent someday or we may not; we all have different reasons and different situations that we may be in. There are many forms of families beyond the typical nuclear family and that is ok. I, nor anyone else, should feel ashamed because we are single mothers/parents, because we are good parents.
From our own communities, however, we don't get that support we need. There are automatic assumptions and judgments made right away towards single parents.
People don't try to understand why others like myself chose to parent (especially single and young), or why we can't just go out with them-using the persistent, "find a baby-sitter so we can hang out" comment. It can be irritating. I must state that it's nice to know there are people who want to hang out with me, yet it's still frustrating to hear comments, because I don't ever have her dad around to take her and I can't afford a sitter on a regular basis. Also, I can't assume my own father who lives in town can take her all the time.
Parents, especially those that are young and single, need support from our communities, peers, friends, families, and society. There's something missing in our own communities when we can't rely on each other for help. This involves anything from sharing what you have, helping out with the kids and being there for each other, swapping baby-sitting nights, or being a phone call away.
People are getting caught up in their own lives without even thinking of supporting others around them. Of course, it's still my own choice in doing so, but it's still nice to be in a situation where we may need support and we find it because we have people who care. We may choose to parent someday or we may not; we all have different reasons and different situations that we may be in. There are many forms of families beyond the typical nuclear family and that is ok. I, nor anyone else, should feel ashamed because we are single mothers/parents, because we are good parents.
Viewing Comments 1 - 3 of 5
Megan
posted 4/29/08 @ 3:00 PM CST
Thank You!
Catherine Wright
posted 5/02/08 @ 2:03 PM CST
Heather, you are so right! Single mothers come from many different backgrounds. Until you have experienced being a single parent, it is impossible to know what we deal with on a day to day basis. (Continued…)
Ron Dilbert
posted 5/02/08 @ 10:29 PM CST
Great job Heather! You are right on the money and there are a lot people who have their own idea of the "norm" and any variation on that is frowned upon. (Continued…)
Post a Comment